June 25, 2008: Attention Middle-Aged Man in Tonight's Publix Express Line
You embody all that is detestable about the human race.
Not only did you choose to cash a check in the express lane, but you then proceeded to indignantly argue about the one dollar fee to do so with both the clerk and the manager for fifteen minutes of my life.
I'm proud you finally took a stand about an issue as pressing as the ONE DOLLAR fee you've been charged for a courtesy service at a supermarket. I'm sure you've taken as much time and energy fighting over, say, the $531,000,000,000 you're spending on the War on Iraq, or the four-and-a-half clams a gallon you're blowing on gasoline because speculator douchebags have moved on from real estate.
God bless you for taking the limited time and energy you (and, for that matter, I) have on this Earth to fight for something so noble.
May you choke on whatever you eat or drink with the dollar the manager gave you literally out of her pocket.
